Robert Burton was an Oxford scholar and writer. “I have heard that nothing could make him laugh,” a friend wrote after his death, “but hearing the barge-men scold and storm and swear at one another, he would set his Hands to his Sides, and laugh most profusely.” Burton’s fancy-ful prose style is ... well, here’s a sample: “Give me but a little leave, and I will set before your eyes in brief a stupendous, vast, infinite ocean of incredible madness and folly: a sea full of … [Read more...]
Tomorrow is Robert Burton’s 438th birthday / Memorable Fancies #1107
7 February, 2015 by Leave a Comment
“Quandary” / Memorable Fancies #827
12 September, 2014 by Leave a Comment
William’s actions in quelling the recent revolt are rewarded with a virgin of his very own, a woman from one of the newly repressed tribes, the gift of a grateful nation. But he’s worried: if the authorities find out what he’d really done on the battlefield, how he wasn’t a hero at all but a coward, they’d probably want their woman back. Still virgin. Now he’s afraid to touch her. Every night he makes excuses to her impatient beseeching. <END> THE FRIDAY … [Read more...]
“Henry Is Alone in His Room” / Memorable Fancies #820
5 September, 2014 by Leave a Comment
Henry gets into a brawl in a cheap bar, kills a man, and flees. Later, he is alone in his tiny apartment, sitting in a straight-backed wooden chair, facing the door. He expects police to burst through the door at any moment. He does not plan to resist. Henry, having a long criminal record, is sentenced to thirty years for the deadly brawl, and is granted parole after serving twenty. Henry is alone in a tiny room provided by the social services people, after his … [Read more...]
“Shadow of a Doubt” / Memorable Fancies #814
29 August, 2014 by Leave a Comment
As a courtesy, when our shadows and those of a great public official intersect, we say that their shadow is on top of ours, not the other way around. Failure to announce this promptly and emphatically is to leave us subject to doubt and suspicion. At least. <END> THE FRIDAY PITCH If you liked this post, please tell your friends and share a comment here, in Facebook, or on other social websites. AVAILABLE NOW on Amazon and other outlets: “The Trees of Malice” – a … [Read more...]
“Face” / Memorable Fancies #807
22 August, 2014 by Leave a Comment
[“The head he turned toward me wore a face of mine.” – W.S. Merwin] That face! – I was sure it had been destroyed when I went to all that trouble and pain, when I changed my appearance to escape the authorities. But here it was again, my face now on someone else. He looked friendly enough, but I knew not to trust him. I wouldn’t trust anyone with a face like that. <END> THE FRIDAY PITCH If you liked this post, please tell your friends and share a comment here, in … [Read more...]
“Friendly Skies – I” / Memorable Fancies #789
1 August, 2014 by Leave a Comment
The Occasionally Friendly Skies have announced a new policy to enhance frequent-flier delight: computer-matching of passengers to seats. Based on personality assessments, fliers are assigned to aisle, middle, or window seats. Not everyone can be an Aisle or a Window, of course. Aisles and Windows consider Middles odd, or sick, or perhaps impoverished and dangerous. They speak with each other in front of, or behind, or over the heads of their Middles. All the Middles can do … [Read more...]
“Honeysuckle” / Memorable Fancies #783
25 July, 2014 by Leave a Comment
The robot sex doll trade-named “Honeysuckle” was heavily advertised, and sold for a great deal of money. Modular, its parts could be rearranged to assume any desired configuration. Its motor could make any combination of motions and sounds by means of a simple digital interface that could be operated with one hand. Honeysuckle’s mouth could utter any speech, in any language or accent, or be otherwise employed. The top of the line version of Honeysuckle was indistinguishable, … [Read more...]
Five Briefs / Memorable Fancies #776
18 July, 2014 by Leave a Comment
“Interruption is one of the ... # Your iPod may have been a super-computer in a previous life. But it was naughty. It calculated missile trajectories. # After great effort, I’ve trained myself to ignore my To-Do’s app. It reminds me to ignore it. Again and again. # [“Maybe tomorrow you’ll start over.” – Roberto Bolaño] No, I started over yesterday. I remember how simple it was. How nothing changed. # ...fundamental devices of all structuring” – Walter … [Read more...]
“SHE: HE: A Scene from a Marriage” / Memorable Fancies #769
11 July, 2014 by Leave a Comment
SHE: I’ll tell you what you need to know. HE: What do you feel? SHE: I’ll tell you only what you need to know. HE: I want to know what you feel. SHE: I’ll decide what you need to know. HE: I want to share your feelings. SHE: I I I I I’ll decide. HE: You are cold and deadly. I need you warm and alive. SHE: Ha ha HE: I’m irrational around you to try to get some response. SHE: Ha ha HE: You are a corpse. I wish you would die and warm up. SHE: I’ll tell you what … [Read more...]
“War” / Memorable Fancies #762
4 July, 2014 by Leave a Comment
[“They told us to charge. There was no one in front of us. So we went on and on, and kept going.” – Gabriel Marcel, his experience in World War I] Finally we came back to where we had begun, and saw them: the ones who had told us to charge. We charged. <END> THE FRIDAY PITCH If you liked this post, please tell your friends and share a comment here, in Facebook, or on other social websites. AVAILABLE NOW on Amazon and other outlets: “The Trees of Malice” – a collection … [Read more...]
“The Event” / Memorable Fancies #755
27 June, 2014 by Leave a Comment
The event – yes, it was reported on the evening news, said to be important, decisive. But what was the “event”? Wasn’t it several events that bore some relation to each other? Or perhaps it was part of some larger event we can’t yet see? How many layers of “events” can there be, like dolls within dolls? Or perhaps events overlap, so there never is a smallest discrete event. – This whole “event” concept – is it perhaps just an invention of the media, or the administration? So I … [Read more...]
“Aside” / Memorable Fancies #748
20 June, 2014 by 1 Comment
In the theater, the playgoers hear the players speak with each other, sometimes also listen to their thoughts as they speak them aside, pretending that the other actors do not hear. Back home, a couple who had enjoyed the play speak with each other. Each imagines speaking aside, addressing their own imaginary audience. Each imagines that the other is listening. <END> THE FRIDAY PITCH If you liked this post, please tell your friends and share a comment … [Read more...]
“The Double” / Memorable Fancies #741
13 June, 2014 by Leave a Comment
[It isn’t the other who is my double, but I who am the other’s double.” – Clément Rosset] You keep your double safely hidden in a sturdy closet behind a strong lock. Sometimes you unlock the door and look at him, lecture him on how he has failed you, ask if he has now repented. Today, as always, he struggles to be free. Which one is you? <END> THE FRIDAY PITCH If you liked this post, please tell your friends and share a comment here, in Facebook, or on other social … [Read more...]
“Occupied Names” / Memorable Fancies #734
6 June, 2014 by Leave a Comment
In the old days, the fourteenth century, say, John the baker is called “John Baker” because he is John the baker. Then his son Eli becomes a baker in his turn, and is called “Eli Baker.” Three generations later, Albert Baker doesn’t want to be a baker; he becomes a smith. He asks his friends to call him “Albert Smith,” but they call him “Albert Baker.” That was the first time… <END> THE FRIDAY PITCH If you liked this post, please tell your friends and share a comment … [Read more...]
“The Final Curse” / Memorable Fancies #720
23 May, 2014 by Leave a Comment
The final curse: “In a few decades the world will have healed itself of you. Nothing will bear your imprint. The last musty record will have fallen into dust. All that you’ve done, all that you were, will be utterly destroyed in the corrosion of time. You will never have existed. This curse, too, will then disappear.” <END> THE FRIDAY PITCH If you liked this post, please tell your friends and share a comment here, in Facebook, or on other social … [Read more...]
“Reversals” / Memorable Fancies #713
16 May, 2014 by Leave a Comment
As in the James Bond film, people behind a one-way mirror are secretly watching you. You discover them. They are all left-handed and their belts are on the wrong way. <END> THE FRIDAY PITCH If you liked this post, please tell your friends and share a comment here, in Facebook, or on other social websites. AVAILABLE NOW on Amazon and other outlets: “The Trees of Malice” – a collection of weird horror fiction previously published individually in sci-fi periodicals and … [Read more...]
“Take the Money and Run” / Memorable Fancies #706
9 May, 2014 by Leave a Comment
PLEASE INSERT YOUR CARD NO, NOT THAT WAY, THE OTHER END FIRST RIGHT SIDE UP, NOT DOWNSIDE UP THE DOWNSIDE IS THE SIDE WITH YOUR NAME NOT ON IT WOULD YOU LIKE A RECEIPT OR DO YOU TRUST ME? WHY? I TRUST YOU, CAN’T YOU TRUST ME? OK HAVE IT YOUR WAY ENTER YOUR PIN NOW AND PRESS THE GREEN BUTTON GREEN. REPEAT: GREEN OK, GOT IT PLEASE SELECT AN AMOUNT IS THAT ALL? AFTER ALL MY WORK HERE? OK, GOT IT PLEASE AGREE THAT WE CAN CHARGE YOUR BANK ACCOUNT FIVE DOLLARS … [Read more...]
“Ice Machine” / Memorable Fancies #699
2 May, 2014 by Leave a Comment
[“I live by the ice machine. ... It’s so annoying.” – Jeanne Morel] The old motel was the only place the County could find for me. So here I am, in room 414. I keep wondering why I was assigned to 414. I guess it’s OK, but there’s a drink machine on one side (where 412 would have been if 412 had been given a life, not aborted in favor of Coke and Pepsi) and the ice machine on the other side, where 416 might have been. The daily routine here is simple. A rattling sound as quarters … [Read more...]
“The Man Who Lost His Name” / Memorable Fancies #692
25 April, 2014 by 1 Comment
[“I met a man who lost his name.” – Miroslav Holub] No, he hadn’t forgotten his name, and yes, he did have a name once upon a time; he told us so. He actually remembered what his name had been: an impressive name, highly revered, indicating descent from several rulers who’d been brave once, or perhaps just lucky. But then he’d fallen into “a run of bad luck” he said, although we all knew it had to do with drinking and gambling. Deeply in debt, and with a valuable name that spread … [Read more...]
“Peaceland – II” / Memorable Fancies #685
18 April, 2014 by Leave a Comment
I remember being a war hero. No one believes me, even when I show them my medals. Finally, one does. “Actually, we all believe you,” he says, “but we don’t dare say so in public. War heroes have been banished. If we recognized your heroism in that war, the one we lost in spite of all your feats, we’d be drummed out of PeaceLand here, never to return.” <END> THE FRIDAY PITCH If you liked this post, please tell your friends and share a comment here or in StumbleUpon, Reddit, … [Read more...]
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