[“The fact that people are taking drugs in order to improve their ... mental functions sounds eerily close to the concept of upgrading a computer.” – Eliezer Sternberg] I took my Windows-10 pill today. But 10 needed more free memory than I had. So I dumped some old mems – mostly my childhood, that disappointing time. Not enough. And then college, remembering only the part where I got my M.S. in computational psychiatry. Not enough. And then, ... And finally, annoyed, I removed the memory of … [Read more...]
“The Puppet” / Memorable Fancies #1561
17 June, 2016 by Leave a Comment
[“Should this individual say “I am nothing but a human puppet,” he would forthwith be marched to the nearest psychiatric hospital.” – Thomas Ligotti] – where he would be treated like – a puppet! [Book ad: The year’s hottest new TV series is a reenactment of a famous murder trial ... but was there more involved than murder? A plot to take over the U.S. government? Read Try Try Again.] … [Read more...]
“Full Disclosure” / Memorable Fancies #770
12 July, 2014 by Leave a Comment
[“...allowing therapists to insert thoughts and memories into the mind of the patient.” – Marina Warner] “Now Mr. Thompson, we’re going to insert some thoughts into your mind: memories, preferences, attitudes. When you awake, you’ll think they’re your own thoughts that you’ve had for years. We’ve tried other procedures, but in your case they’ve failed. “You’ll be sedated, but only briefly, and after two or three hours you’ll be ready to go home. If you do not consent to this … [Read more...]
“Asylum – XXII: Dinner at Bad Shepherd” / Memorable Fancies #467
22 September, 2013 by Leave a Comment
[Continuing the journal of Diane McMurphy, a patient in Bad Shepherd mental hospital, “The Asylum”] The pleasant little bell rings over the PA system and we all salivate. Those of us trusted to move our own legs trudge to the dining hall, which adjoins the day room and provides dining so elegant that those here who’ve been in the Army weep with reminiscence and tell the others long stories about liver-day, SOS, and Tuesday’s coffee (that’s the day cook tops up the grounds). We … [Read more...]
“Asylum – XX: Pieces” / A Memorable Fancy #400
15 July, 2013 by Leave a Comment
[Continuing the journal of Diane McMurphy, a patient in Bad Shepherd mental hospital, “The Asylum”] Doctor takes our minds apart piece by piece, disassembles them, lays them out like mice ripped apart by a cat. Sometimes we talk about it, a kind of conversational terrorism. Here’s a piece of me: “Do you know why you’re here?” he asks. “I’m crazy.” “Well, saying that is just avoidance, you know, Diane. ‘Crazy’ is just a word. It’s not acknowledging what you … [Read more...]
“Asylum – XIX: “’Who’s Real?’” / A Memorable Fancy #396
11 July, 2013 by Leave a Comment
[Continuing the journal of Diane McMurphy, a patient in Bad Shepherd mental hospital, “The Asylum”] I pride myself on being Doctor’s special project. “A tough case,” I once overheard him saying. On Mondays I have him for individual counseling. Today is Monday. “How is Sugar Odette these days?” he asks. “Fine, Doctor. She can’t wait to hear what I’ll have to say about today’s session.” “And what will you tell her?” “I don’t know, Doctor; we haven’t had the … [Read more...]
“Asylum – XVII: Bedtime at the Asylum” / A Memorable Fancy #389
4 July, 2013 by Leave a Comment
[Continuing the journal of Diane McMurphy, a patient in Bad Shepherd mental hospital, “The Asylum”] “What are your dreams, Diane?” Sugar Odette asks me. “On most nights, I dream that monsters are chasing me.” “No, I mean your hopes for the future. When they let you out of here.” “I hope they don’t catch me.” “Who?” “The monsters.” # Sugar gives me a hug and a kiss because she’s annoyed that I’m not taking her question seriously. Then she turns over and … [Read more...]
“Asylum – XVI: Introducing Sugar Odette” / A Memorable Fancy #386
1 July, 2013 by Leave a Comment
[Continuing the journal of Diane McMurphy, a patient in Bad Shepherd mental hospital, “The Asylum”] Sugar Odette is my particular friend. The hospital, not being able to enforce the absolute celibacy they’d like to see (which would however drive us totally nuts, thus justifying the hospital’s existence) acknowledges such relationships in a way that doesn’t commit them to admitting to the Board that any fornication is actually being accomplished. We have this ceremony in the day room, … [Read more...]
“Asylum – XIV: Family Visits” / A Memorable Fancy #378
20 June, 2013 by Leave a Comment
[Continuing the journal of Diane McMurphy, a patient in Bad Shepherd mental hospital, “The Asylum”] Some of us patients have families. When they come to visit on visiting day, the dayroom is where they see us: a pleasant, sunny place where the keepers can keep an eye on the crazies, keep us controlled by playing the television machine loud enough to cover up any embarrassing conversations among the patients or with their families. So we mouth clichés at each other, at least they … [Read more...]
“Asylum – XIII: Visitor Days at the Asylum” / A Memorable Fancy #375
17 June, 2013 by Leave a Comment
[Continuing the journal of Diane McMurphy, a patient in Bad Shepherd mental hospital, “The Asylum”] The desperate sameness and seemness and seamless texture of our lives is occasionally broken by visitors from the city: do-gooders, do-badders, and those who don’t know the difference. For example, the health inspector comes by every three months and closets himself with Doctor Wolfe and selected flunkies. I never see him actually inspect anything, but after a time he smiles and nods as he … [Read more...]
“Asylum – XII: Movie Time Again” / A Memorable Fancy #372
13 June, 2013 by Leave a Comment
[Continuing the journal of Diane McMurphy, a patient in Bad Shepherd mental hospital, “The Asylum”] Another dayroom movie here in the asylum because, aside from terrifying visits with our mind-probers, that’s about all there is to do. This one is …: “Escape of the Maniacs – A group of obnoxious inmates of a lunatic asylum believe they are escaping from the institution and having various gruesome adventures, while in ‘reality’ only having a bad day in group. This documentary, … [Read more...]
“Asylum – XI: A Tourist Guide to My Palace” / A Memorable Fancy #368
10 June, 2013 by Leave a Comment
[Continuing the journal of Diane McMurphy, a patient in Bad Shepherd mental hospital, “The Asylum”] Founded many years ago as “Shepherd Hospital for the Pitifully Deranged,” the name was changed in 2001 because it was no longer in accord with twenty-first century principles of ethical jargon. So now it’s “Shepherd Hospital Center for the Pitifully Deranged,” even though it doesn’t seem to be the center of anything in particular. Most of the townies, with understandable confusion, call … [Read more...]
“Asylum – IX: New Names for Old” / A Memorable Fancy #361
3 June, 2013 by Leave a Comment
[Continuing the journal of Diane McMurphy, a patient in Bad Shepherd mental hospital, “The Asylum”] Thanks to the Pledge Week thon, the chairs in the Ward H dayroom have been rebadged in honor of various donors, who can now tell their friends that they’ve endowed a Chair of Punitive Psychiatry. At the moment, I’m sitting in a chair commemorating a modest gift given in honor of one of our crazies from olden days, insanitus emeritus, via the hospital’s Gatehouse Society. I have … [Read more...]
“Asylum – II: Re-runs of Freedom” / A Memorable Fancy #291
25 March, 2013 by Leave a Comment
[Continuing the journal of Diane McMurphy, a patient in Bad Shepherd mental hospital, “The Asylum”] It’s me. I’m back in the psych-ward dayroom with its everbooming TV. It’s showing two-dimensioned people agitated over really small things, not should I take a razor to my wrists again but what laxative to use, why you really need a new car you can’t afford, how to convince your doctor you need the newest unpronounceable drug and swear not to O.D. while you search for God – and they … [Read more...]
“Psychiatrists for the Dead” / A Memorable Fancy #140
23 October, 2012 by Leave a Comment
This country needs a program to cover the cost of psychiatrists for the dead. Mentally traumatized by what may have been a violent death, or suffocating in a hospital bed when the call button is pushed and pushed and pushed and no one comes – there are significant traumas here. It is unfair that mental health needs are assumed to end at death. After all, the dead have to cope with a new world where there is no breathing, no light, no friends, no loved ones, nothing but a lost hope of … [Read more...]
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