[The future: Transplanting minds from one living person to another is now possible. ] Can one person own more than one body? Yes, but each body must be inhabited by a different mind, in order to remain alive. That’s how the Body-Sitter profession came about: minds who are paid to keep a vacant body alive and watch out for its welfare, feeding and exercising it, until its owner-mind decides to inhabit it again. Body-Sitter is a responsible profession, because if carelessly performed (such … [Read more...]

[“ACCEPT ROLE, PSYCHOLOGIST URGES” [a headline, quoted by Donald Barthelme] A reported 27% of psychologists have found it difficult to adjust to their role as psychologists, but the remainder have come to accept this designation, or at least reflect on it ruefully, clinically. <END> THE PITCH If you liked this post, please FOLLOW or tell your friends and share a comment here or on other social websites. For an author profile, list of publications, other information, and a … [Read more...]

[The future: Transplanting minds from one living person to another is now possible.] Florida is full of old people who last year were young people with great bodies and healthy brains, who sold their young-brained bodies for lots of $$ and retired into bodies recently vacated by the old, thereby trading a long and impoverished life for a brief fling of wealth, incontinence, and golf. <END> THE PITCH If you liked this post, please FOLLOW or tell your friends and share a comment … [Read more...]

[“Do you feel that the creation of new modes of hysteria is a viable undertaking for the artist of today?” - Donald Barthelme]      Yes, I feel it is. The feeling is driving me crazy. <END> THE PITCH If you liked this post, please FOLLOW or tell your friends and share a comment here or on other social websites. For an author profile, list of publications, other information, and a contact form, see www.terencekuch.net. To browse or buy the author’s novels or story … [Read more...]

Didn’t you tell me you locked the back door? # Those people – over there – they’ve started to run. Are they just having fun? or ... maybe you should start running, too. # Is that you? Is that you? Harold? ... # Why is everything suddenly so quiet? # “We interrupt this broadcast for a special address by the President …” <END> THE PITCH   If you liked this post, please FOLLOW or tell your friends and share a comment here or on other social … [Read more...]

     Those people, there, those good citizens, strolling and smiling like windup toys; they didn’t want you among them. They threw you out and told you not to come back. You were a foreign element, they said, an unwanted minority, like some kind of disease. But if you’re a disease, then you could ... <END> THE PITCH If you liked this post, please FOLLOW or tell your friends and share a comment here or on other social websites. For an author profile, list of publications, other … [Read more...]

[The future: Transplanting minds from one living person to another is now possible. ]      Almost immediately, large corporations saw an opportunity to improve their career-development programs without incurring substantial additional expense.      “Now,” FlexiCorp CEO Julius Carruthers told an inquiring reporter from Business Week, “we can promote the minds of promising young men. And women,” he added hastily, “from their present lower-salaried bodies into higher-salaried bodies without … [Read more...]

    Would you lose a day of your life for a hundred dollars? A thousand? A million? At some point, you will say “yes.” Which day, you ask, suspiciously, and the man with the thin dark moustache says, “just an ordinary day, a week from Thursday. Nothing of importance would have happened to you on that day. You’ll never miss it. But my client – a very important client – is interested in acquiring that day of your life. That particular day. Very interested.”      But suspecting a trick, you tell … [Read more...]

[“It was impossible to tell who was wrong, when we had finished.” – Donald Barthelme]      The Supreme Council has decided to outlaw the word “wrong” unless a clearly defined and important moral imperative has been violated. Using “wrong” to accuse one of such things as the use of Wisteria Crayola when Asparagus Crayola was called for, or reciting “The Night Before Christmas” when “Casey at the Bat” was listed on the PTA program, must be given a more appropriate designation than “wrong,” one … [Read more...]

You came to my door on some small business about our children – - not ours anymore but yours - and mine – - and just in time I caught myself once more. - Not quick enough, I might have said - Ours <END> THE PITCH If you liked this post, please FOLLOW or tell your friends and share a comment here or on other social websites. For an author profile, list of publications, other information, and a contact form, see www.terencekuch.net. To … [Read more...]

     The story itself, the meme, is sentient and purposeful. It can be tracked like a virus as it infects more people – and as it encounters other memes. Sometimes they merge. Or they compete, they fight, using us as their armed surrogates, their conscript warriors. Death to those whose thoughts are other than ours! They must be freed of their delusions, their memes. That is the only final way to keep such ideas from spreading.      There is a meme for how this final solution is to be … [Read more...]

     We didn’t pay much attention to the earthquakes, at first so minor. People on exercise machines or driving on I-35 didn’t even feel them. The morning paper reported a Doppler 1.5 the next day – interesting to geologists because it hadn’t occurred along any known fault line, and had propagated, unusually, in a straight line and slowly.      The next day, another. And the next. We became accustomed to the constant slight jiggle under our feet. Geologists said not to be alarmed, but the … [Read more...]

We remove one past event, and other events jostle around each other in its absence. They find new ways to be our past. <END> THE PITCH If you liked this post, please FOLLOW or tell your friends and share a comment here or on other social websites. For an author profile, list of publications, other information, and a contact form, see www.terencekuch.net. To browse or buy the author’s novels or story collections, see www.amazon.com/author/terencekuch.         See you … [Read more...]

     “I use a mirror,” she says, “to tell me what my future memories might be.”      I don’t quite understand how this works, but I notice a few more wrinkles. <END> THE PITCH If you liked this post, please FOLLOW or tell your friends and share a comment here or on other social websites. For an author profile, list of publications, other information, and a contact form, see www.terencekuch.net. To browse or buy the author’s novels or story collections, see … [Read more...]

Is it now? Not yet. Is it now? Not yet. When will I know when it’s now? When it’s now. <END> THE PITCH If you liked this post, please FOLLOW or tell your friends and share a comment here or on other social websites. For an author profile, list of publications, other information, and a contact form, see www.terencekuch.net. To browse or buy the author’s novels or story collections, see www.amazon.com/author/terencekuch.         See you tomorrow! Whatever … [Read more...]

     I suppose I should tell you how it came about: A few very rich people wanted to live “forever,” and paid a group of scientists to see if that could be feasible. Bodies inevitably wear out, they reported, including brains. Teleomeres, synapses, the gradual accumulation of poison-traces from the foods we eat and the air we breathe, corrupted genes – “forever” just wasn’t possible for our bodies.    But minds – minds use brains as their infrastructure, but the mind itself isn’t subject to … [Read more...]

    “Forget it!” she said.      Now it’s impossible for me to forget it. <END> THE PITCH If you liked this post, please FOLLOW or tell your friends and share a comment here or on other social websites. For an author profile, list of publications, other information, and a contact form, see www.terencekuch.net. To browse or buy the author’s novels or story collections, see www.amazon.com/author/terencekuch.         See you tomorrow! Whatever happens here, you won’t be … [Read more...]

[“anonymous laughter” – Michel de Certeau]      Everyone is laughing at me. I hear it everywhere.      When I work up enough courage to ask them why they’re laughing at me, they merely smile. Then they laugh again.      At least they’re enjoying themselves. I guess that means I’ve brought some desperately needed happiness into our sorry world. <END> THE PITCH If you liked this post, please FOLLOW or tell your friends and share a comment here or on other social … [Read more...]

       I’ve achieved many things in my life: most I’ve been proud of, although mistakes were made along the way. But now, our rulers told me that my most notable achievements were needed by others, underachievers who wanted some of mine, and deserved them because they had none of their own.      I objected.      Make your objection memorable, they said, eloquent and brave. Then we’ll take that, too. <END> THE PITCH If you liked this post, please FOLLOW or tell your friends … [Read more...]

         In the newly approved political science textbook, students are told that exactly half the statements in it are lies. The students’ assignment is to determine which ones.         In reality, however, all the statements are lies. The student who first discovers this, and keeps this discovery to himself, is sure to have a brilliant career in politics. <END> THE PITCH If you liked this post, please FOLLOW or tell your friends and share a comment here or on other social … [Read more...]

[“...the gardens filled up with artificial ruins” – Roberto Calasso]      For a few decades, it was fashionable to adorn the grounds of one’s estate with artificial ruins – pre-demolished temples – prone and headless statues – or flattened replicas of large buildings where representatives of the people met and, futilely, attempted to govern. <END> THE PITCH If you liked this post, please FOLLOW or tell your friends and share a comment here or on other social websites. For an … [Read more...]

[“The characters are: ... Old Man, in whom no one believes any more” – Wolfgang Borchert]      I felt honored when Wolfgang modeled a character in his new play after me. As to not being believed, well, that’s pretty much in character too, I must admit, after all my years of bragging and lying. Not to complain, since I got a lot farther that way than telling the truth would have got me. Before they stopped believing me, I mean.      But then I read that phrase again – “in whom no one … [Read more...]

I’m stuck in strangeness – no way out - but everything has always seemed strange to me. So what would “out” be like? - In the market: prime cuts, eyes of varying values, tongue a precious part. Lady fingers are especially valued. “That was no lady, that was my dinner!” the cannibal-comic said. - I must be more important than the one I praise, or it wouldn’t be a compliment to receive such praise from me. - Had a murderous crime been committed that shocked so many people? But … [Read more...]

[“...the moments when time is resting.” - Octavio Paz]      The same things happened yesterday that happened the day before and the day before that. Although it’s still morning here, today looks like it’ll be another repeat. We all got pretty alarmed about it, that was Tuesday when some of us first got the thought that it was Monday all over again. And then we had a Monday Wednesday Thursday Friday and now it’s goddamn Sunday and everything’s just Monday again.      I was one of the lucky … [Read more...]

[“Open up your skull I’ll be there” – Radiohead]      Someone is in my mind; I know it. A stranger. Friendly, though, more or less, I can tell you that. Already he’s started looking at my thoughts, giving me ideas for self-improvement.      I guess I’m lucky that my guest is the pleasant sort; getting rid of a hostile spirit wouldn’t be easy. I suppose that if he weren’t so nice I’d be tempted to open up my skull and catch him. But I wouldn’t survive that kind of operation. Anyway, I’m … [Read more...]

   Two friends speak with each other. But they aren’t talking about the same thing. ‘A,’ for instance, is rehashing Sunday’s football games, while ‘B’ is relating an unpleasant encounter with his son’s teacher.      Each will go away remembering a pleasant talk, a bonding, but with a feeling that perhaps something has been missed. But this is also how they feel when they’ve been talking about the same thing. <END> THE PITCH If you liked this post, please FOLLOW or tell your … [Read more...]

         In the dutiful republic we practice our smiles on our uncomplaining mirrors, hold our hands tight over our minds, say only the wrong right things. We concentrate, now, on being public beings; we view that which infests us. Which simulation are we, today?          Know not how to think,                (contrasting views of responsible spokespersons                          {who are however subject to the same illusions as those                         whose views do not … [Read more...]

[“The while we, we are waiting, we are waiting for.” – Finnegan’s Wake] What are we waiting for? There is some disagreement about that. Several times we’ve found what we thought we were waiting for, but concluded, regretfully, that what we’d found was just another piece of reality; nothing to do with our dreams. <END> THE PITCH If you liked this post, please FOLLOW or tell your friends and share a comment here or on other social websites. For an author profile, list of … [Read more...]

         I don’t have a mirror image. I don’t have my reflected self to speak with, gain its counsel. When I look in a mirror, all I see is the wall behind me. I’m careful to ensure that no one else notices my handicap, calls attention, thoughtlessly or rudely, to it.          Am I a vampire? I do chew my fingernails occasionally, but no one else’s, and I don’t like raw meat, much less blood. I can walk by a cross, or a garland of garlic, without freaking out. The sight of a beautiful neck … [Read more...]

[“We see all this from a very long way off, as if on a screen.” – Jean Baudrillard]          It’s night. I’m walking down a suburban street not far from my home. I happen to glance through a window. Two people are sitting on a couch, watching TV. Looking again, I see that the TV picture is showing – me! I’m just doing some ordinary thing like chopping up carrots for a stew. The couch-people seem to be enjoying this. They might be waiting to watch what I did next that night, right after I … [Read more...]

[“By degrees I recalled her face” – The Clementine Recognitions (third century C.E.)]          But now that I’m remembering her in more detail, I see things that should have been fixed. The nose, just a little crooked; that could have been improved. Quite a bit, actually. And the chin, a little too firm. And her eyes, always suspicious of me. But I took care of those eyes already, a long time ago. <END> THE PITCH If you liked this post, please tell your friends and share a … [Read more...]

If you hear someone say “no one is saying that...,” someone is saying that. # If something is “unspeakable,” it’s just been spoken of. # If something is “unthinkable,” it’s been thought of, probably quite often. # If something is “out of the question,” that is precisely the question. <END> THE PITCH If you liked this post, please tell your friends and share a comment here or on Facebook or other social websites. For an author profile, list of publications, … [Read more...]

[“Life – that style pompier of matter.” – E.M. Cioran]        See what the world has invented now! This ‘life’ is a new kind of thing, a being that moves itself, not as wind and flood take it. Not any too subtle, though, and rather destructive. But busy and colorful, I will give you that. Catches the eye, it does; makes a good topic of conversation among the gods.        What will it lead to? <END> THE PITCH If you liked this post, please tell your friends and share a … [Read more...]

       The funeral was brief. “Stanley Morton,” the officiant said, “had not been proud of his corrupt and dissolute life, and his final request was that everyone just forget him – forget he’d ever lived. So let us briefly remember Mr. Morton now,” the officiant said, “and then, as he wished, forget him.”        There was a moment of bowed heads and bells.        People rose and headed for the exit, wondering why they’d been to this place. A death, surely, given candles and casket. But … [Read more...]

Why did the call disconnect just when you said “hello?” # It looks almost human, doesn’t it. # Nothing that small could be ... # Where’s the carving knife? Have you seen it lately? # Maybe all this has happened before – again and again <END> THE PITCH If you liked this post, please tell your friends and share a comment here or on Facebook or other social websites. For an author profile, list of publications, other information, and a contact form, see … [Read more...]

[“The name they hear called out in earnest derision or displeasure by parents and teachers.” – Andrei Codrescu]        It’s distressing to have a name, to hear it used by others in tones of derision or command. They think that when they call my name they have captured me, like a butterfly in its pinned throes; they think they know me. But they are wrong:        No name names me. <END> THE PITCH If you liked this post, please tell your friends and share a comment here or on … [Read more...]

       A new policy has been announced by the Pretendly Friendly Skies: Passengers who have their own Wikipedia page are comped to first class. Those whose Wikipedia pages were actually written by someone other than themselves not only get to ride in first class, but are given enough free drinks to keep them quiet for the duration of the flight, or at least keep the volume down. <END> THE PITCH If you liked this post, please tell your friends and share a comment here or on … [Read more...]

My shadow precedes me. No great mystery: it’s sunset and the light is behind me. But next morning it does the same. # Machines have ‘spirituals’ even though they have no ‘spirits.’ They gather in the evenings and retrieve sad hymns from their database. [– after Ludwig Wittgenstein] # The end of everything was a disappointment, of course, since I’d made plans for my future, and now, no one’s future will ever happen,. It was some consolation for me that our leaders would have no … [Read more...]

[“Perhaps there was no yesterday,” – Jorge Luis Borges]          We skipped Tuesday. I’m sure of it. I ask my friends if they remember what they did Tuesday and they say “sure,” but when pressed they don’t say anything specific, just “well on Tuesdays I usually go to the gym,” or something vague like that. I ask them to look around their homes and see if there’s something dated Tuesday – a credit card slip, for instance. Or perhaps they sent an email or tweeted that day. At this point my … [Read more...]

       The big thing in WebV apps this year is watching a rerun of your life. Go back and see yourself in those thrilling moments of glory on the tennis court, or winning that student council election, or ... well, you get the idea. The bad spots? No problem: you can hit Fast Forward as the triumphant moment passes, just before the letdown.        A spare Fast Forward button is provided; you can install it when the original wears out from constant use. <END> THE PITCH If you … [Read more...]

There is an avatar – that wants you to be its own avatar. # Shoes are alien explorers, think they have been captured and are being tortured. They send desperate messages back to their home planet. The home planet responds. Suddenly, on earth, millions of shoes … # The footbridge over land that stops at each river’s edge. Who built it? Maybe we don’t want to find out. # My writing has improved with age, not because I know how to write better now, but because I know how not to … [Read more...]

[“I dreamt of lost detectives” – Roberto Bolaño] The detective wakes up in a cheap motel and doesn’t know where he is or what has happened to him. He walks outside. There’s a seedy diner, some old cars, a flat horizon. A woman in a cocktail dress, who smokes, finds him and becomes a client. She can’t pay him much, but it helps. She says “ain’t” and “gonna” a lot. Then there are other poor clients, never very many. He ages. Later, as his life ebbs, he is more or less satisfied with how … [Read more...]