Here are two people in the same body; always fighting, stumbling over which way to go, or one awake while the other sleeps, creeping quietly across the room not to awaken its bodymate. And in another country there is one person with two bodies, bored with the two lunches it has to eat every day. <END> Buy it at amazon.com/author/terencekuch: See/Saw. In this novel from Ink Smith Publishing, you can sell your memories for cash. And regret it. … [Read more...]
“The Darkness” / Memorable Fancies #1392
[“Show me you are not the light I called to / but the blackness behind it.” – Louise Glück] Was that first rush of madness hers, or mine? Yours, she says; now I’m just like you. But how could I love you if I had not answered your call, that first time, your invitation to share the calling darkness of your mind? <END> Buy it at amazon.com/author/terencekuch: For Anacreon, 30 poems of love and life from the ancient Greek poet (originally published as a chapbook by Silkworms Ink). … [Read more...]
“The Me’s” / Memorable Fancies #1255
“Let me tell you about my operation.” – I tried to get away from Jim but couldn’t without being impolite, so I stood there and smiled. Also I wanted a loan from him so I thought I should stick around a while. So I heard it, heard all about his operation. I wasn’t really listening, just nodding every so often. But then he said “the ‘me,’ they called it, the ‘me’ was very sick and so they took it out of me and put a new ‘me’ inside.” That, I heard. I wondered if ‘me’ was some … [Read more...]
“My Me’s” / Memorable Fancies #1200
[“He who hides his madman dies voiceless.” – Henri Michaux] There are two people hiding inside me: the madman and the computer. My analyst told me that the other day. “We’re looking for a third being inside you,” he said, “someone more human.” “No!” I shouted, in a craze of calculation. <END> Buy it at amazon.com/author/terencekuch: Try Try Again – A novel of deadly political intrigue. … [Read more...]
“Heat” / Memorable Fancies #844
[Continuing the journal of Diane McMurphy, a patient in Bad Shepherd mental hospital, “The Asylum”] The asylum administration has turned up the heat. No, not another example of their solicitous bullying, but real heat: the thermostat here in Ward H says so. Already I feel less withdrawn, less hostile, more sweaty, more apt to agree wholeheartedly with my therapist and put up with his “agreeing with me is just your defense mechanism, Diane” schtick, and make an effort not to bite him … [Read more...]
“The View from Nowhere” / Memorable Fancies #555
[“Strange error about our lives because we try to experience them from the outside.” – Albert Camus] There is no objective point of view, no place from outside ourselves to see ourselves, or to see others. A private point of view is the maniac’s truth that he is the God of his own small space, and that his eyes see only the contents of his own mind. <END> If you liked this post, please tell your friends and share a comment here or in StumbleUpon, … [Read more...]
“Folder-Therapy” / Memorable Fancies #460
[Continuing the journal of Diane McMurphy, a patient in Bad Shepherd mental hospital, “The Asylum”] One of the patients sneaked a look inside a manila folder at the nurses’ station: the classic urban legend of the madhouse. I think it’s a plot; Doctor leaves papers around for us to “accidentally” find, read, be terrified or reassured. It’s some secret therapy, papers saying things he made up, lies about us, things he wants us to know and deny, fantasies for us to try on for size. It’s a … [Read more...]
“Asylum – XII: Movie Time Again” / A Memorable Fancy #372
[Continuing the journal of Diane McMurphy, a patient in Bad Shepherd mental hospital, “The Asylum”] Another dayroom movie here in the asylum because, aside from terrifying visits with our mind-probers, that’s about all there is to do. This one is …: “Escape of the Maniacs – A group of obnoxious inmates of a lunatic asylum believe they are escaping from the institution and having various gruesome adventures, while in ‘reality’ only having a bad day in group. This documentary, … [Read more...]
“Who Am I?” / A Memorable Fancy #195
Every morning I look in the mirror. Have I been transformed into some kind of giant bug? No. At least not yet. Have I become an E.T. with big eyes and green skin? No. Then why do I feel that I’m becoming more alien every day? Tomorrow, the mirror may show me someone who doesn’t live here anymore. [“I am conscious of becoming alien...” – Georges Bataille] … [Read more...]
“The Controllers” / A Memorable Fancy #182
When I mentioned the Controllers and how they sometimes take over our minds, everyone seemed embarrassed even though I was just making conversation. I have since learned not to mention the Controllers in polite company, any more than I would talk about my private body parts or recently being fired. Everyone knows about the Controllers, of course, even though no one will talk about them. Very privately, I think, among lovers or especially good friends, it would be permissible to talk about them … [Read more...]