peeing for god and country

Long ago, being drafted into the U.S. Army included (and probably still does) the ten-minute session called “you troops go into the latrine there and pee in one of them bottles and put your service number on it with the pencil you will find alongside each  bottle and then place the bottles in the designated receptacle leaving the pencil where you found it.” We, being new to the service, had not yet been trained to pee on command, or by the numbers, and so several of us asked, please and kindly, once the sergeant was out of sight, if a few soldiers who seemed have more than the minimum required amount of pee, if they would please and kindly pee in each of our bottles? And so they kindly did, we hoping they didn’t have VD or some other disease, or maybe they had a disease so awful it would get us kicked the hell out of there.

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