The new Imperial Army Olympics events include crawling in the mud under live fire, throwing grenades, and counting off in pairs for bayonet drill. Winners receive ribbons and medals. Those who don’t survive are given solemn funerals, with ruffles, flourishes, speeches. We raise our glasses in their honor, those who died while we lived on. We try to be sad. We try to say we could have, perhaps should have, died instead of them. But it’s no good – nothing spares the world our shady joy.
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