The Occasionally Friendly Skies have announced a new policy to enhance frequent-flier delight: computer-matching of passengers to seats.
Based on personality assessments, fliers are assigned to aisle, middle, or window seats. Not everyone can be an Aisle or a Window, of course. Aisles and Windows consider Middles odd, or sick, or perhaps impoverished and dangerous. They speak with each other in front of, or behind, or over the heads of their Middles.
All the Middles can do is smile and attempt to join the conversation, a brave initiative that always fails. Window says something to Aisle, and Middle nods as if he were included in the remark. When he himself speaks, he has to turn to one or the other, which means that his attempt to start a three-way conversation is doomed to silence.
“We’re always down to earth,” the airline’s slogan goes, “sometimes faster than other times.”
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THE FRIDAY PITCH
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