[May the maledictions of Lousyfear fall like nettlerash” – Finnegan’s Wake]
The Liber Maledictum Quintus is a very long book. Having been hand-inscribed in the seventh century, the ink is faded and some of the pages are grey with monkbreath. Only a few curse-clinicians have persisted in reading past the first thousand pages; perhaps only two or three in each century.
Even these, finding newer handwriting and cleaner pages near the end of the work, have not stayed to read these addenda. And yet this is the most interesting part, for it is a diagnostic and statistical manual providing information about each curse:
.. Latency period, that is, the time from a curse until its first effects are felt;
.. Symptoms: How to tell which curse the patient is suffering from;
.. Strength of the curse, using codes 317 (F70) Mild, 318.0 (F71) Moderate, 318.1 (F72) Severe, and 318.2 (F73) Profound;
.. How many prayers one must offer, and what these prayers should say; and
.. The amount of a suitable fee payable to the clinician for diagnosing the curse (not for a cure – there are no cures).
<END>
THE TUESDAY PITCH
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