“Corporations in Heaven” / A Memorable Fancy #190

“But you’re joking!” I said. “Another of your ‘get rich quick’ schemes?”

“No, this time I’m serious. Dead serious.”

“Helping companies with their heavenly afterlife? But a company isn’t a person.”

“The Supreme Court says it is.”

“Buildings, organization, square footage, data, accounts receivable …”

“No, no. A corporation is people, just like a church is people. Not its bricks and mortar, not even its data. All those are ‘accidents’ as the theologians would say, not ‘essence.’ The essence is people, and people can go to Heaven. At least, that’s what Christians teach. And Moslems too, for that matter.”

“But a group of people?”

“It’s happened in the Catholic church, anyway. The Holy Innocents? The Martyrs of Uganda? The Forty Martyrs of Sebaste? Symphorosa and Her Seven Sons?”

“So you’re advising corporations on how to get into Heaven? For big bucks, I’ll bet.”

“‘Big bucks’ is right, my friend. But I’m advising them on something far more important, far more likely to happen.”

“What’s that?”

“How to stay out of Hell.”


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