Terence Kuch

As queer (yes) as it may seem, those Westboro folk may be on to something. You will recall the injunction “Be fruitful and multiply.” That is, Yahweh (the Abrahamic god) wants there to be lots of human beings, just as human farmers want their own crops to breed and flourish. Homosexual people have fewer children, statistically, than hetros; in most cases, none. God is displeased, because he enjoys the taste of fresh soul and can’t get enough. Therefore, the more human beings the better, even if they overwhelm the planet and cause the extinction of thousands of other kinds of beings. It isn’t just the same, eating rabbit soul, when you can gorge on the top earthly predator, i.e., us. God must feel threatened when He looks down and sees people voluntarily not reproducing, and yet they take bread from the mouths of those willing and able to breed again and again. There are pests loose on the farm, and they must be eradicated, ’cause they’re buggering the crop yield.

But the idea that God kills U.S. soldiers is truly stupid; service members are just the kind of healthy, vigorous breeding stock that He wants to see more of on the farm, not fewer. And they’re good eatin’, too.

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