Junk mail recently received (complete text):
Are you ready for Chrristmas night? Click here.)
I ate mine like a parting guest who was being gone home, free and independent, to look round or not. You must say it, said sir henry. Whatever barney with a grin. But come, it won’t pay to the charles nand campanule household is getting.
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If ‘I’m sorry’ is anything other than a semantic blank, it’s formalized regret at having done something, and resolve, at least for the moment, not to repeat what one is now sorry for. But consider the following abuses:
1) The following (from Mike Huckaby in the New Yorker, 1 December 2008, page 30) isn’t about mixed metaphors, although it could be; it’s about abuse of ‘sorry’:
[re Hillary Clinton’s potential appointment as Secretary of State] “It’s one of those things that if he’s floating the balloon it better fly. It would be twice having rung the doorbell and not taken her to the dance. You know, I’m sorry, but at some point you better get in the car with her and take her.”
2) And from a website, verbatim: “If your purchased product was damaged during shipping we will replace it. Our only restriction is were sorry we cannot refund shipping cost. We personaly know your going to love your new camera. Thank you, Pamela”
Pamela isn’t as fluent as Mike, or perhaps she just can’t type; but neither Mike nor Pamela is sorry in any real sense; in their mouths, it isn’t even a performative, ** it’s just a kind of tic.
** In a performative, saying it does it, as in “I dub thee Knight of the Round Table.”
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The complete text of a recent piece of junk mail:
http://www.branchtradition.com
[that URL is a ‘not found’.]
[END]
The complete text of a piece of junk mail received recently:
Its workks!
Penis Ennlarge Patch WORKS!
With him. He carried that anger back to his own by a singular
coincidence the king of france had him now, but we will
sit down here and observe of cars, began to throw down all
the kings (that to his own ends by a secret of his own he
draws.
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Little Thoughts to Live By:
.. No one respects a victim.
.. Revenge is the only pure motive.
.. Offense is taken, never given.
.. Never assume that the technology is going to work.
.. Never depend on Version 1.
END
