Terence Kuch

Consider this example: “Max follows, his hands bunch into fists.”

This needs to be fixed. Why and how? The traditional rule is that two independent clauses cannot be linked by a comma. This rule makes sense, because each of these three possible fixes sounds more natural and makes better sense than the example:

Fix number 1: “Max follows, his hands bunching into fists.”

Fix number 2: “Max follows. His hands bunch into fists.”

Fix number 3: “Max follows; his hands bunch into fists.”

Fix 1 adds an extra syllable that doesn’t pull its weight, a syllable that we can do without in a fast-moving narrative. This is a matter of style, not grammar.

The example sentence portrays vivid action. In Fix 2, this action comes to a sharp halt at the period, then resumes. As a matter of style, again, the action needs to continue moving forward at full speed, not stopped and re-started. It is no coincidence that what Americans call “period,” the British call “full stop.”

Fix 3 doesn’t slow the action as much as fix 2 does; it doesn’t add a needless syllable; and it is superior, I believe, in style.

The semicolon is your friend!

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